officially weaned

I started to wean Lydia on August 12th and by September 3rd she was completely weaned. The process was shorter than I had originally planned on it being but was also a lot smoother than I had anticipated.

I am very thankful to the Lord for giving us grace to get through this season. I think I had dealt with the emotional aspect of weaning at the very beginning (or maybe even before I started).

It was a rough start because Lydia wouldn't take formula. I only had about 30 oz of breast milk stored. Once that was gone I didn't really know what to do. I mixed the last few bottles with formula to try and get her used to the taste but I ended up throwing those bottles out because she refused them (I guess due to the taste of formula??). When it was only formula in the bottle she would scream and spit the milk out and then start gagging. Those first few days she went without (milk) for a few meals. One day I just broke down and bawled my eyes out. I emailed Patrick this pathetic message telling him how RA has ruined my life. In my mind it made sense... if I didn't have RA I wouldn't have to get on this medicine. If I didn't have to get on this medicine I wouldn't need to wean. If I didn't have to wean Lydia would not be screaming... All leading back to RA. Patrick reminded me that I'd have to wean at some point anyway even if I never had RA. He also calmed down the whole "my life is RUINED" thing by reminding me that many people have it WAY worse than me. He also threw in the reminder that this is God's perfect and good plan for my life. I was thankful for friends who prayed for us all during this rough time and who sweetly reassured me that this too shall pass. And boy is that the truth...all these seemingly huge things at the time are hard to remember in a few weeks.

We finally gave her a 3 oz bottle of whole (cow's) milk. She cried at first but then drank the whole thing. Slowly I have been mixing formula in with the cows milk. I know I know babies are not supposed to have cow's milk until they are a year old. I was desperate and my doctor told me it was okay. And now she is on only formula.

I dropped her dream feeding first and then dropped one feeding each week afterwards. The last to go was the "dinner" feeding. I did this so that I would be emptied out at the end of the night and could sleep comfortably. Thankful this process hasn't been too uncomfortable. I had this awful expectation and thought it'd be super painful. I think the Lord has heard my prayers and graciously made this process very smooth.

So overall I am happy with my nursing experience. Lydia never really had any trouble and I am so thankful that I didn't have any problems (i.e. mastitis). I am glad to be able to easily go out during those feeding times now and just bring a bottle.

Good-bye nursing.